Here it is guys, I am telling the world my hidden truth, I am exploiting my vulnerability. I feel I want to let it all out, this is Andrew Fashion The Renovatio. I’m fixing everything, and changing my mind set, I’m going to let you guys know what it’s like to go from broke, to rich, to broke, to working on getting back to the top. I think my story is a little different than the usual get rich and go broke story, cause I am in the middle of the process learning still. I learned a lot, I experienced a lot, I hit the top so fast, and slowly went downhill, and finally hit rock bottom. Being broke, and in debt doesn’t change who I am, it doesn’t change my drive, it doesn’t change my motivation or my ambitions. Being in debt does affect me pretty rough emotionally sometimes, anger builds up, and I have outbursts that are probably not even necessary. Master Shortie – Why (Interlude) explains exactly how I feel inside. Maybe if you listen to the song, and read the lyrics below, you can get in the same “state” as me, or at least a little bit closer to how I feel. It’s actually a song that makes me think about my problems, and actually motivates me believe it or not. I feel like the song describes my problems emotionally so perfect, and it makes me feel like their is hope.

ANGER, ANGERS AN EMOTION THAT CAN TURN TO RAGE
MY MIND’S BEEN ON THAT CHAPTER
FELT IMPOSSIBLE TO TURN THE PAGE
CAGED, MIND STATE LEFT ME IRATE
SEEING IN A BLIND STATE WITH NO SENSE OF LOVE
VISIONS OF HATE TOWARDS PEOPLE WHO’S IMAGINATION LED THEM TO CREATE
THE ANTICIPATION OF DEVASTATION HAVING MY HEART RACING
FAIR, SEE ME IN THIS PLACEMENT
ENSLAVED, ANXIOUS, ACTING BRAVE
IS THIS HOW I’M SUPPOSED TO BEHAVE?
THE DAYS OF SEKING KNOWLEDGE IN A CAVE
MAN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? LOOKING WITHIN, ASKING SELF

I WANTED YOU TO HEAR ME OUT
THERE’S JUST A FEW THINGS
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YEAH
IT’S BEEN ON MY MIND FOR SO LONG
AND FINALLY YEAH IT’S COMING NOW

I’VE BEEN PUSHED DOWN SO MANY TIMES
I FEEL THIS IS MY LAST, AS I LAY HERE FADING
MY MEMORIES HAVE BEEN INVADED BY MY PAST
RAST. I’VE BEEN BEATEN IN THE PAST
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PARTICULAR FEELING
IN YOUR STOMACH LIKE IT’S EMPTY AND YOU NEED FEEDING
WHILST A PRECEDING OF BEATING IS TAKING PLACE
AND PEOPLE ARE SCREAMING “ALLOW IT” JUST LEAVE HIM HE’S BLEEDING
JUST LEAVE HIM. WHILST WATCHING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING GETTING BEATEN FOR NO REASON
BY THE FACT THE HE’S ACHIEVING
I FEEL SAD EVERY DAY I CAN’T LET THEM NO I’M GRIEVING
I’M LYING TO MYSELF, AKA I’M DECIEVING
HAVE YOU EVER FELT SO ALONE?
YOU CRIED TEARS WHEN YOU ON YOUR OWN
I’D RATHER HANG MYSELF THEN BE ALONE
GOD TAKE ME AWAY SO I CAN FEEL AT HOME
COME ON

I WANTED YOU TO HEAR ME OUT
THERE’S JUST A FEW THINGS
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YEAH
IT’S BEEN ON MY MIND FOR SO LONG
AND FINALLY YEAH IT’S COMING NOW

So, you should probably make sure you have read “How I Made 2.5 Million,” and then read “Young & Stupid: How I Lost My Millions.”

The ecstasy

The feeling of making 2 million dollars in less than two years is pure ecstasy, you feel like you have ultimate control, at my young age, I felt unstoppable, I didn’t abuse drugs or alcohol, in fact I barely drank, I drink more now than before. When you have cash in your bank, you have the power to do what you want, you have the power to buy freedom, you have the power to tip anyone for anything. You have the power to buy what you want when you want how you want. The doors to the “fast track” open.

The “fast track” in essence is leaving the “rat race,” the rat race meaning working a 9-5 job for someone else for practically, and probably the rest of your life. Back in the days, people use to rely on a pension, or some form of government security. Now jobs offer 401k which are not pensions, health benefits, and stock options, basically you have to secure your own retirement, rather than solely relying on the government to take care of you. I feel horrible inside when I see 50+ years of age people working at the cashier station at Wal-Mart. I am not saying I am better or anyone else is better than them, no one is better than anyone, but I feel horrible inside just knowing they let themselves get to that or working till that age, because they need security, and they feel that’s the only way to make rent. So ultimately, the fast track is when you don’t have to work a 9-5 job for security, the fast track is all about working for yourself, investing in other businesses, and being able to delegate your time however you want. You have created your own business, you have investments bringing you cash flow, you’re living large, you’re living the life, you are in the fast track, you can fly to Hawaii tomorrow, London the following week, and than Asia the next. You have all the time in the world to spend with the girl you love, you can have her take work off for weeks at a time, you can spoil the shit out of her, and watch her smile grow, you can basically buy all the time in the world to do everything you want.

This is what I felt, the intensity was so surreal, it almost felt like a dream, it was pure happiness.

This feeling lasted up until I left Los Angeles in July 2008, and maybe just a few more months after, before I started to experience the drop…

The Fall

There’s nothing like going from 2 million positive to negative. MySpaceSupport.com fell off the map after the first renovation in Miami Florida in June of 2007, and it slowly just kept going downhill. I left to Los Angeles in August of 2007, and MySpaceSupport just kept getting worse, and I kept wasting money paying for expensive rent in LA, slowly diminishing my cash in the bank, it started to get extremely and dangerously low, so I sold MySpaceSupport and Perfection Apparel, totalling $100k in the sale, less $20k in commissions, so I walked with about $80k cash. When I got home back to Denver in July-August of 2008, I finally decided to finish my 06-07 taxes, yes a tad bit late, not smart. I owed more than I thought, I was short a very unhappy amount. Not only was I short, I was hit with approximately 2 years of penalty fees and interest. I already sent in $400k for taxes, so let you’re brain decide how short I might of been, I won’t spit out any hard numbers of how much debt I am in currently. Now at the time, I felt I had options, and ways out, which I did honestly… I really could of done something a lot smarter than what I ended up doing. Months went by, and I kept spending money on things, my girl, food, toys, etc… I ended up having to clear out my SEP-IRA account for cash, I ended up having to sell my truck, my photography equipment, and unfortunately I had to sell my M6 as well… After clearing all that out and selling all of it from the SEP-IRA to the M6, that was a total of $10k+$15k+$9k+$49k = $83k, $83 fucking thousand dollars I cashed out, and I still have my house, and now that $83k is gone. I spent $83k in 12 months, foolishly somehow, the cash I cashed out with is gone, which I planned on paying 30% of my debt off, and reinvesting the rest, and now it’s gone. I paid off some of my debt, but didn’t want to just drop $30-80k on debt, I couldn’t get myself to throw all that cash towards debt. The cash is gone. The debt is not. The depression kicked in, just recently actually it’s hit me.

HAVE YOU EVER FELT SO ALONE?
YOU CRIED TEARS WHEN YOU ON YOUR OWN
I’D RATHER HANG MYSELF THEN BE ALONE
GOD TAKE ME AWAY SO I CAN FEEL AT HOME
COME ON

Yes, I have teared up, I a man, and I will admit, it has eaten me up inside, at points making me feel like this could be impossible to fix, impossible to reach the top again. Especially if I am alone for a few days, reality hits me hard, which is probably good. But reality hits me hard, an overwhelming pressure comes on top of me, saying what the fuck do I do, where the fuck do I go, how the fuck do I make enough to just cover my debt, how the fuck can I save my house. I don’t ever tell myself it’s over, or it’s not possible, I am asking myself how do I do it, how can I make a quick half a million… I feel lonely, I feel alone, I feel unwanted, and I feel incapable, I feel lacking, I feel depressed. This is the feeling I have been experiencing through the fall.

The Rise

A bit of hope came through just recently, my partner Jamie Glamour and I got an investor for beModel.com. A sense of hope came through, a gut feeling of it will be alright, we raised $20k for the project, and we have extreme confidence in this project. The fact that I was able to even raise more capital being in this state of depression surprised me… Made me feel like I was capable, I am great, I am not lacking, there is a way.

Jamie and I successfully got 15k users in two days, have had 4 beModel parties in Boulder and Downtown Denver, and they were all very successful. There is a way, and we know it, you can’t stop two ambitious men creating destiny, chasing dreams is for dreamers, we take dreams and create reality. That’s the difference, dreamers dream, Jamie and I create.

I am not going to lie, it’s not easy going from a rise to a fall to trying to rise again. The fact of the matter is now I have regained hope, I have always had my drive, and always will. I will never lose the desire I have for success. Success is the driving force behind me, not the money, the money is just the benefit. Success ultimately brings wealth, but having value behind me is what drives me. I want to be looked at as something great, something amazing. I know I am no where near “intelligent,” the intelligent are geniuses, they send spaceships to the moon, invent chess, and do quantum physics… I’m an average guy with an overly ambitious desire to succeed and gain value for myself. Ever since I was in 6th grade, I wanted to build websites, I built my first company in middle school, called IS2S short for I Skate 2 Skate. By freshman year, I raised enough money to print our own fucking skateboard decks, we opened a mini store at local skateparks. IS2S was known big time locally, we were the skate crew… Now we were definitely not the best skateboarders, but I had marketing skills, and ambition to build the company to something great. Ever since middle school I have been an entrepreneur with the desire to build companies, I am stubborn, I am me.

stella

The depression started to get to me, I went through my girls, and oh it didn’t help me with my current state of affairs, let me tell you. I lost a beautiful women through my stupidity and built up anger inside of me. The infatuation, the depression, the anger, led me to fight for no reason and believe things that were not even there, I have never felt the way I felt for any other girl as I felt for Stella. I let the emotions inside of me define me, and defeat me. I regret everything I have done with the girls I have encountered, because the emotions in me took over… I am on a mission, a mission to recreate me, a mission to show myself that I can defeat the fall, the fall can’t and won’t take over. I feel the rise, the rise is coming, the change is coming, Andrew Fashion The Renovatio. A total rebirth has been done. I feel the inside of me changing, it’s weird, I feel the depression fading, and the fear leaving. Now I have never feared anything except women, but fear has never kept me from anything, nothing, nodda.

I learned a huge lesson, and many people out there might already have this under control, and be stronger than I was, but I was programmed completely different. Going from 2 million to negative, to losing everything I had, including women, including close friends, including me, I almost lost me. I didn’t and won’t let it happen. I am in control, and I am seriously just a few steps away from reaching the top. I have two lifelines to fix it all, and you know that feeling when you just know you’re there, when you know you have it beat? When you know you are going to win, when you know you are just unstoppable? I am pretty certain the average person hasn’t experienced what I have, so let me tell you this now.

Do not let the human emotion control you, you can reach as high as you want, you just have to believe, and persevere. Stop dreaming, stop chasing, and actually reach for it.

Love Andrew Fashion
Never Stop Reaching

Make sure you have read “How I Made 2.5 Million,” and
Young & Stupid: How I Lost My Millions.”