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I am starting a new category, called Young & Stupid, it’s a struggle I went through, it’s a depression I am currently going through, a big lesson I learned at a very young age on my own. I am writing a book on everything I went through, how I did it, how I lost it, and how I got it back, it’ll be a semi short book 100-150 pages… But for now the category on my blog, will be a collection of stories and lessons I’ve learned, and to help me realize myself. Now that it’s been a few years, it can be a lesson or a reminder to myself.

This is a 3 part blog:
How I Made 2.5 Million Dollars
How I Lost 2.5 Million Dollars
My Depression Struggle

Anyways, this is a question I get a lot, and it’s funny, people in the back seat always say… “I would of done it so different, I can’t believe you spent all your money, blah blah blah.” Okay, I’m sure you would of right? People on the outside always think they are the smart ones till their in the drivers seat, especially when it comes out of no where, self made, young, and stupid. No financial education, no family, no father, and a full time working mother. I do wish I would of done things so different, I’d literally be a multi-millionaire right now, but what’s done is done, lessons learned, and moving on. I highly recommend reading How I Made 2.5 Million first.

So where did my millions go, and why am I at the bottom now? Why have I lost everything, and why the hell am I in debt, that’s honestly a good question, this will be an eye opener for me too, because I will be revealing and trying to reminisce where I put my money. Judge me how you want, say what you want, but try to keep the comments some what respectable. You’re entitled to your opinion on how everything went down, so let’s find out where my money really did go?

Money Earned (Approximately)

Here is the checks that were paid to me via Yahoo.
Here is the money earned via Google.

Total Yahoo/Google Earnings: $1,833,705

I also sold 3 companies, I sold MySpaceCity.com for $140k, and hit to split that with a partner, so I made $70k, I sold MySpaceSupport.com for $75k, and PerfectionApparel.com for $25k.

Total Earnings: $2,003,705 – I also made various income from banner ad companies such as ValueClick, CPX, TribalFusion, etc… Probably another 300-500k (but can’t access my accounts any longer with them)…

New Total: $2.3 – 2.5 Million’ish (I thought I made around 1.8M, lol)


Taxes paid personally, $400k
Taxes withheld from Yahoo, $50k
SEP-IRA, $10k (weak I know)
Partner in Canada, I think around $250k
Employees, maybe around $30k
Site redesign, $20k
Drivable Investment, $120k
beModel Investment, $8k
Attorney transaction fee for website sales, $20k
CPA, $10k
Average monthly mortgage + utilities for 4 years, $4k x 48 months = $192k; This includes my mortage, san diego, los angeles, just imperative bills.

This is all of the expenses that I can think of that were basically imperative for me to do…

Total Imperative/Semi-Imperative Expenses: $1,110,000

Money Left: $1,390,000

So apparently I blew 1 million dollars in cash… Time to figure out where it really all went… Now there is so much more I could of done with this 1 million I had in cash, lmfao, honestly, I could of purchased a 30 unit apartment building with 300k down, 100k in hedge funds since I would be an accredited investor, invest in a good company, and possibly start another business of my own, and be sitting in Hawaii sipping pina coladas… But I didn’t do anything to smart with that 1 million unfortunately, I attempted, but failed to do so… Let me tell you though, it is absolutely the best feeling being able to do what you want, how you want, when you want, where you want…


Where could my money have gone?

Alright, honestly, I have an idea of where it went, stupid shit of course, but it’s hard to believe I went through 990k and managed to keep myself in debt, shopaholic I guess. Laugh out loud, ugh, how is that possible. Let’s start with the obvious expenses.

My house, $93k
BMW 2006 330xi + mods, $60k
BMW 2006 M6, $120k
Nissan Titan, $40k
S13 240sx Drift car + mods, $15k
House upgrades; venetian paint, $80k
House upgrades; basement, $40k
House upgrades; landscaping, $30k
House upgrades; garage, $25k
House upgrades; library, $15k
Vegas, roughly $30k
Strip Clubs, oh godddd, ummm, $20k?
Trips, LA, New York, London, Disney World, Hawaii, ummm…. $20k easily…
Fixing wrecked M6 cash, $40k
Fixing wrecked 330xi cash, $15k
Birthday parties for Rose and I, $15k
Bruce’s birthday present, $5k
Helping a friend, $15k
1997 BMW 540i for friend, $9k
Old jeep for friend, $5k
Photography stuff, $50k

Obvious Totals: $742k; umm wow… LOL, this is starting to become a little more clear now…

Now if I am mistaken, that leaves me with like $648k cash, now there is a lot of non obvious expenses, food, girlfriend, clothes, toys, random shit, over the last 4 years, let me think… Now after all these retarded expenses, I could have bought a car, a smaller house, and invested the rest… WTF? This is just upsetting me, looking at this list, I see me being stepped on, walked on, and helping people way to much. The only explanation for the time being I can think of for the remaining $648k is just pure bullshit over the last 4 years… Like I said, clothes, toys, trips, expenses on trips, girlfriends, toys? Ugh, the pain!



The obvious lesson here is don’t act on impulse. I’ve always been an impulsive, adhd, I want it now type of guy. So the money coming in every month, felt like I was on top of the world, felt like I couldn’t go wrong at this point, I mean fuck, I was young pulling in over $100k a fucking month. So, I was Young & Stupid and I spent my money foolishly, not ever thinking of investing. I thought I would save later, but that never happened, it was to late. They money only came in for approximately a year, and then it stopped. I got cut off from the company, and then my site fell of the map because of a huge SEO mistake. So everything was butterflies, then poof, out of no where, it was gone. I was still 18 too, all I knew was how to build websites, program in almost any web language, and how to spend money. I’m sure everyone knows now, especially at my age, how to spend money wisely, and how to invest, at least I hope so. I learned the hard way, and lived the high life for a short few years, it was pure ecstasy for fucking sure. There is nothing like the uncertainty of what’s going to happen, and the certainty of having it all. I could do anything at any given time, I could rent a Jet, I could of bought 3 lambos in cash. I could of bought 1 house, 1 lambo, and also purchased a 30 unit apartment building, and be set for a pretty good amount of time just from that apartment building alone… One solid commercial investment, I would of been fucking set. I was blinded by money, it ruined my habits, it ruined me, I worked my ass off, and now I think it comes easy. I grew a habit I am trying to break out of, it’s called “The Art of Doing Nothing,” it doesn’t work so well, trust me. Ever since I made all my money, I’ve outsourced everything, and have grown to be insanely lazy… Lazy in a sense of just wanting to hire someone else to do it for me…

I need to take control, and do shit myself now, if I want to reach the top again. I have to do what I did in the first place, spend every waking second working, busting my balls. Money does buy happiness, money buys time, time is wealth, wealth is being happy. If you have the time to do anything, having fun, loving your family, loving your significant other, whatever it is you would like to spend time doing. Money brings it to you. So I tell myself, and I tell you, come up with a vision, build a company, and don’t stop, be so persistent, people think you’re crazy, be so persistent, people will say you work way to much, work till they called you a fucking nerd. My entire life I was a nerd, I wasn’t popular in high school, but I sure built an image in the real world. I had a taste of the high life, someone is testing me, and I won’t fail this test. And neither will you, if this is what you want, if you want to be rich, be rich with me 🙂 Let’s get our own jet, buy our own island, buy a loft in Dubai, spoil our lovers, and live life to the fucking fullest.

Persevere Please… Let me know what you think, comments are appreciated 🙂 <3 Mr Fashion…